your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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