I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
