Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
