wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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