But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
