what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
