one might say we're banned from that church
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
