im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
