i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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