I heard we made out
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize