dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
