I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
