evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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