some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
