Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
