My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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