I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
