Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
