Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
