Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
