Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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