i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
