Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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