he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize