PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
