he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
