Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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