my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
