I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize