yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
