So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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