i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
How external is "for external use only"?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize