It's like God shit irony all over that family
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize