Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
