its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
