I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize