Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Why can't burritos get me drunk
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
