I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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