Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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