Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
