Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You're a waste of cheezeits
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize