But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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