it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
