YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize