My nipple is on Facebook.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize