no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
