He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
