this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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