we have officially lost it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
