Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
