To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
