She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
