well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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