i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
