I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
