i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
