wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
