Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
