Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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