I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
