The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
